Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Moulded by experience - still the same old Soph.

Surges of unknown love leap through my body...
A spring in my step. My features melt- close to a smile for the first time in months.
My weathered hands reach out to grab moments of my childhood back.
Do you ever know what you have until you have lost it?

Moments I thought I could never re live drift back. Snow coating my heart melts to form a puddle on the ground. I hear laughter. Its me.

Like a butterfly in a cocoon I thought I had shed my childhood skin. I thought I had spread my wings and flown away. The current of the wind blew me back home.

Still the young child at heart, painted with a fresh coat of experience. I never truly lost it. I just had to dig deeper to find it.

My wings stronger. Ready to fly in the wind. Still I need a kiss to make the scratches heal. Each moment captured like a snapshot in my mind. No pictures can be frozen. No time can be reversed.

Never to old to leave my childhood. Never to old to completely shed my skin. Maturity has time to let me laugh back moments I had tried to lock away. No room in my life to deny myself. No time to deny the moments that shape you. Laughter,smiles and honesty fall back into my outreached hands. Close around them and never let them go again.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Struck dumb posted by Soph

Standing before you,jumbled words sit on my lips. Battling to escape. I question whether they will fill you with joy and warmth. Or close around you like a wall, forcing distance between us.

I fantasise about what we could share. Where we could go. Yet fear creeps up on me. Long bony fingers waiting to grab me and take me hostage.

Still I stand before you. Waiting for emotion filled words to collect. Like waiting for rainwater in a drought. Time stands still. I know your waiting.

I try to summon up the courage. Scrambling to pick up every cracked fantasy. Like beads slipped through my fingers- spilled on the floor.

Sometimes I lie in bed. I content myself with just watching you. Jumbled words still sit on my lips. Struck dumb.

Monday, 19 October 2009

Borne to stand out posted by Soph

Today I'm not going to write in a complicated way, subtly (ahem) hinting to you how I struggle understanding lessons and friends...other people in general. I'm going to tell you plainly where I went wrong and how I am going to fix it.

I want you to imagine your me (scary thought I know)You want so badly to be able to fit in, but yet you feel like your borne to be different. You don't strive to have the most friends in the world, neither be the prettiest girl any ones ever met. You love to learn, but still you find lessons difficult. You want to do well and you have high aspirations but you aren't clever. All that matters to you is that you be yourself and do the best at getting where you want to be in life.

Strange wasn't it, living somebody else's life I mean. My guess is your reading this thinking that everybody has problems and I'm just making a fuss about nothing. Actually your wrong. The reason why I am addressing you today is to put forward one simple idea into your heads. The idea that everybody endures struggles. All I want you to do is understand that the situation can be turned around.

Confidence is all you need. Have the confidence to know that you can change things. To know that YOU are in charge of your life. Strive to be the best at being yourself. That's all you ever need for a perfect life.

A while back I think I wished for everything to be perfect. I think I really believed that a perfect life is possible. Its not. Every hardship that you come across will add to your experience. So I would like to leave you with one final message. Lifes not perfect, but you can be the best at being you. All you need is the right mental attitude to do so.

(Wow you actually stayed awake XD...its always a good start)